Thursday, July 14, 2011

No Date Tonight

The only one I had was with you, dear reader.

"Teens often lack tools to deal with abuse" July 07, 2011|By Peter Schworm, Globe Staff

The horrific slaying of an 18-year-old woman in Wayland - allegedly at the hands of her former boyfriend, a high school classmate who is accused of strangling her, slashing her throat, and dumping her in a marsh - may represent the most extreme expression of a deep-rooted problem, those who work with teenagers say.

While details of the couple’s three-year relationship remain murky, specialists say that adolescents cope with emotional and, in severe cases, physical abuse more often than many adults may realize.

Inexperienced in dating and overwhelmed by conflicting emotions, teenagers often struggle to escape abusive relationships or even to recognize them for what they are.

“I don’t think it occurs to them that someone who cares about them can hurt them,’’ said Katy Colthart, a clinical social worker in Needham who counsels teenagers in abusive relationships....

“When people don’t talk about something, it’s easy to sweep it under the rug.’’

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Underreporting is definitely a problem.’’

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For many high school students, romantic relationships come to define their identity and social status, making the idea of being single seem calamitous. Teenagers who have been in steady relationships for years often struggle to imagine life without the other, specialists said....  

Then maybe kids shouldn't date.

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"Yet more than a dozen teenagers interviewed outside shopping plazas in Braintree and Boston said that right now, in the midst of summer vacation, their thoughts turned more to relaxation than to the sober concerns of relationships gone sour....  

Yeah, kids do seem to get over things quick.

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"They had broken up, but Nate Fujita pushed hard to see Lauren Astley the night she died....

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