Chasing Down Profits

Not very difficult when government dumps tax dollars all over you like chocolate sauce.

"JPMorgan’s gains may forecast resurgence; Profits could set benchmark for banking industry" by Eric Dash, New York Times | April 15, 2010

For big banks, the good news just keeps coming.

After the banking industry’s remarkable recovery in 2009, JPMorgan Chase yesterday kicked off what is expected to be another season of robust results for the giants of American finance.

This is really insulting journalism.

Fawning at the feet of the bankers, 'eh, NYT?

That's why I NEVER VISIT the website and can't stand the sight of the NYT on the rack. The thought of touching one? Shiver!

Morgan’s latest results — a first-quarter profit of $3.3 billion, even greater than analysts had expected — not only underscored the industry’s rapid revival after its worst crisis since the Depression but also hinted at the incipient recovery under way in the broader economy....

I can't take this s*** passing as reporting anymore.

But....

Pffft!

Bank of America, Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, and Citigroup all report in the coming week....

“Large corporate America is in very, very, very, very good shape,’’ Jamie Dimon, the chairman and chief executive of JPMorgan Chase, said. “They have lots of money and access to capital markets. It is very, very good news.’’

So how are you doing, Americans?

There is your whole recovery.

Still....

Sigh.

Dimon’s upbeat remarks came after hefty trading profits at Morgan’s investment bank again helped offset a weaker performance at its Chase retail banking and credit card units....

Chase’s corporate bank, meanwhile, booked a $390 million profit....

After a while the numbers are sadly mind-boggling.

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Better hurry up if you want to keep pace, readers:

"Chase says credit law will cut income" by Associated Press | April 2, 2010

NEW YORK — JPMorgan Chase & Co. expects its credit card income to drop by up to $750 million because of recent regulations — and a lot of customers will get cut off as a result....

They are doing you a favor.

See: U.S. Consumers Choose Cash Over Credit

Yeah, you were not using them anyway, were you?

The bank also will no longer offer cards to 15 percent of its current customers....

My suggestion: If you have a pair of scissors, open that wallet, take out that card, and cut, cut, cut!

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Related: In the new world of credit reports, know who’s looking at yours, and why

It won't be JPMorgan Chase.