Related: Joke of the Day
Oh, you already have.
GOOD ONE, huh?
"Bin Laden hunter claims order from God; Colorado man went to Pakistan" by Munir Ahmed, Associated Press | June 17, 2010
ISLAMABAD, Pakistan — An American construction worker detained in Pakistan while on a solo mission to kill Osama bin Laden claimed yesterday that he was obeying an order from God to avenge the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, said Pakistani security officials.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
Get's me every time!!!
Related: George Bush: 'God told me to end the tyranny in Iraq'
Not funny at all.
You sure that was him and not the other guy, George?
Gary Brooks Faulkner said God revealed the order a dreams, prompting him to travel to Pakistan in search of Al Qaeda’s leader, said two security officials.
What is with the typo?
They spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to talk to the media.
Catching bin Laden was 50-year-old Faulkner’s passion, his brother Scott Faulkner said. A devout Christian with a prison record, Faulkner has been to Pakistan at least six times, learned some of the local language, and even grew a long beard to blend in, relatives said.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!
This just gets BETTER EVERY DAY!!!!
The SIX TRIPS with KIDNEY TROUBLE CONFIRMS him as a CIA AGENT and this PREPOSTEROUS NOC COVER they came up with is a LAUGH RIOT!!!!!
“Our military has not been able to track Osama down yet. It’s been 10 years,’’ Scott Faulkner told reporters in Denver.
They will need one of these:
“It’s easier as a civilian, dressed in the local dress, to infiltrate the inside, the local people, gain their confidence and get information and intel that you couldn’t get as an American soldier, Navy SEAL, whoever you might be.’’
This guy is LUCKY HE WASN'T BEHEADED!!!!!!
And ISN'T THAT what CIA AGENTS do?
Gary Faulkner, who was being questioned in the northwest city of Peshawar, has not yet been charged with any crime.
Well, Pakistan has to see if CIA wants him back, ha-ha.
Faulkner, of Greeley, Colo., arrived June 3 in the town of Bumburate. He was assigned a police guard, as is common for foreigners visiting remote parts of Pakistan. When he checked out of a hotel without informing the guard, officers began looking for him, senior police official Mumtaz Ahmad Khan said.
Faulkner was found late Sunday in a forest.
“We initially laughed when he told us that he wanted to kill Osama bin Laden,’’ Khan said.
Yeah, so did I when I first heard the report!
But when officers found weapons, including a 40-inch sword and a pistol as well as night-vision equipment, “our suspicion grew.’’
As well as a BIBLE, DAGGER, and some HASISH, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!
WHY LEAVE THAT OUT unless he SMOKED the REST, huh?
Is that why he FORGOT the SHOVEL!
He said Faulkner was trying to cross into the nearby Afghan region of Nuristan, one of several rumored hiding places for bin Laden along the rugged Afghan-Pakistan border.
Faulkner’s sister, Deanna M. Faulkner of Grand Junction, Colo., said her brother suffers from kidney disease and that he has only 9 percent kidney function.
Which is NOT FUNNY; however, I nearly pissed my pants laughing at this "news item."
A Pakistani doctor has examined Faulkner and determined his current condition is not life-threatening, the Pakistani security officials said yesterday.
Then he ISN'T SICK! If he is down to 9% he's on deaths door!
So HOW MANY MORE IN-YOUR-FACE LIES are you going to throw at us, AmeriKan MSM?
The American was in and out of Colorado state prisons between 1981 and 1993, serving a total of about seven years in five separate stints for burglary, larceny, and parole violations, state officials said.
And then he was BORN AGAIN, ha-ha-ha?
Pfft!
--more--"
"US says no criminal charge for Pakistani; Gets new lawyer for grand jury on NYC bomb plot" by Shelley Murphy, Globe Staff | June 10, 2010
A Pakistani man who was arrested in Watertown on immigration charges last month as part of the investigation into the attempted bombing in Times Square is expected to testify before a New York federal grand jury investigating the botched May 1 attack, according to one of his lawyers.
Aftab Ali Khan, 27, appeared yesterday in US District Court in Manhattan for a hearing on whether he could afford to hire a lawyer or needed the court to appoint one at government expense to represent him since he has been called as a grand jury witness, said Saher J. Macarius, a Framingham attorney representing Khan in his pending Boston immigration case.
“I don’t know what the government expects him to say,’’ said Macarius, adding that Khan has told him that he had no connection to the attempted car bombing. “He is a good person, and he will try to help the government.’’
Translation: He was threatened and tortured.
********
Yusill Scribner, a spokeswoman for US Attorney Preet Bharara of the Southern District of New York, declined to comment on the case, other than to say, “No criminal charges have been filed against Aftab Ali Khan.’’
Khan, who worked at a Brookline gas station, is being held on civil immigration violations and is facing deportation. He was among three Pakistani men arrested May 13 during a series of raids in the Northeast that were conducted as part of the investigation into the attempted car bombing in Times Square. Also arrested were Khan’s cousin, Pir D. Khan, 43, a taxi driver who shared a Watertown apartment with him; and Mohammad Shafiq Rahman, 33, a computer programmer from South Portland, Maine. All were charged with administrative immigration violations, not criminal charges.
In other words, NO TERRORISM CHARGES!!
Government officials have said....
Why should we LISTEN to LIARS anymore!!!
Macarius said he believed that federal authorities in Boston were trying to build a marriage fraud case against Aftab Khan, while at the same time prosecutors in New York are seeking his cooperation in the ongoing investigation there.
Translation: They are THREATENING HIM!
And that is what they are HOLDING OVER HIS HEAD?
A MARRIAGE FRAUD CASE?
Aftab Khan worked at a US Army base in Kuwait as a civilian assisting with truck convoys before he came to the United States last August with a fiancé visa to marry an American soldier who met him on the base and was then living in Colorado.
So the TERRORIST worked on a MILITARY BASE in Kuwait?
An ICE agent testified during an immigration hearing in Boston a couple of weeks ago that the woman told Aftab Khan not to come to the United States because she had changed her mind, but he came anyway.
Some guys just don't know the meaning of the word no.
He said Aftab Khan offered the woman $5,000 to go through with the wedding, but she refused.
What part of N-O did he not understand?
On Nov. 17, the day Aftab Khan’s visa expired, he married another American woman at Cambridge City Hall in what authorities have described as a fraudulent marriage....
What most men do. At least he wasn't a stalker.
Last Friday, US deputy marshals moved Khan from the Suffolk County Jail in Boston to a jail in Rhode Island and transferred him Tuesday to a detention center in Brooklyn.
“I’m sure he will try to help the government here as he has done that before when he was responsible for providing food and equipment to our government soldiers overseas,’’ Macarius said.
A real American patriot, huh?
Who only happened to consort with a patsy, 'er, fall guy, 'er, terrorist, I meant Times Square terrorist.
