This thing reads like a George Carlin headline:
"Rockland woman charged with attempting to rob two banks in Cambridge" by Melissa Hanson | Globe Correspondent, July 31, 2013
A Rockland woman was arrested Tuesday after she allegedly attempted to rob two banks in Cambridge, fleeing both without any money, police said.
Jessica Whalen, 35, was ordered held on $2,500 cash bail.
Whalen was also ordered to stay away from the institutions, Citibank and Eastern Bank, and ordered not to take drugs and to undergo random drug screenings, a spokeswoman for the district attorney said.
Gotta be a heroin addict, right?
Cambridge police said the first incident occurred around 1:30 p.m. when a female entered the bank on Massachusetts Avenue, passed a note to the teller, and fled without any money or showing a weapon, police said....
Then, around 3 p.m., police responded to a report of another attempted bank robbery, this time on Alewife Brook Parkway, where Eastern Bank is located.
A female matching the description of the suspect in the earlier incident entered the bank, passed a note to a teller, and fled without any money or showing a weapon, police said....
--more--"
