Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Getting Ahead of Myself

Would you like to Dyn on a purple carrot tonight or go hungry instead? 

So what would you like to drink?

Boston Globe Glass of Juice

Maybe you would rather have lemonade?

"Beyonce, fresh off one of the most elaborate record promotions in music history, is investing in a three-year-old startup that sells watermelon water, becoming the latest celebrity to take a more entrepreneurial approach to endorsements. The entertainer on Tuesday announced an investment in World Waters, which produces a sports drink made with watermelon juice processed at high pressure. The deal adds to Beyonce’s wellness-focused business portfolio, which also includes athletic-apparel line Ivy Park and an investment in 22 Days Nutrition, a vegan-diet kit. Beyonce, 34, joins Oprah Winfrey and basketball star LeBron James in the growing ranks of celebrities eschewing traditional endorsement deals in favor of direct investments in companies."

Why don't you give me a soda instead:

"Coca-Cola saw the popularity of its namesake sodas decline in key markets around the world during the first quarter, reflecting a mix of changing tastes, challenging economic conditions, and a shifting business strategy. The world’s biggest beverage maker said Wednesday that sales volume for sodas like Diet Coke and Cherry Coke collectively declined in North America, Europe, and the unit including the Middle East and Africa. As people keep moving away from big sodas, Coke has retooled its strategy to focus on attractive packaging like glass bottles and mini-cans that can fetch more money. This week, Coca-Cola unveiled new cans and bottles of Diet Coke and Coke Zero that include more red and make them more reminiscent of regular Coke."

Yeah, the packaging will fool 'em!

Taste the same as Pepsi even if the can looks different!

"Andra Day wants to inspire people to rise up while drinking a Coke. The Grammy-nominated singer’s image and lyrics from her standout single ‘‘Rise Up’’ will appear exclusively on 40 million Coca-Cola cups at select McDonald’s throughout the country, Coke officials said Monday. Day’s appearance on the red-and-white cups is an extension of the recently launched ‘‘Share a Cup and a Song’’ lyrics program. The cups will be available May 2. Purchasers of the cups can also view the short film documentary ‘‘I Rise,’’ inspired by Day’s single ‘‘Rise Up.’’ The film can be watched on a cellular device after scanning a cup using Shazam’s new image recognition technology. The film features four African-American women, showcasing the impact they’re making in their communities.... As it works to revive its US business, which has lost customers in recent years."

And for an entree?

"McDonald’s is testing bigger and smaller versions of its Big Mac, which may be a way for the company to make its famous burger more substantial as burger competitors have made the regular Big Mac seem skimpy to some. The Mac Jr. is basically a single-layer Big Mac, and McDonald’s says it’s ‘‘easier to eat on the go.’’  

I thought they were supposed to be downsizing the obesity-creating super sizes, and what is with this PAY MORE for LESS scam?

McDonald’s to test fresh beef in Texas

Only trick is you have to slaughter it yourself.

Speaking of fresh food:

Chipotle buys back stock as it tries to recover from virus outbreaks

I hope they don't choke on it.

"Chipotle is giving away free burritos to combat the eeriness of empty stores and to convince people that its food is safe. The Denver chain made its first big push with freebies on Feb. 8 when it closed its stores nationwide so employees could participate in a food safety meeting after an E. coli outbreak and other incidents sent sales plunging. The company said 5.3 million people tried to download the mobile offer for a free entree. The company has since also started mailing people coupons for a free entree. Mark Crumpacker, a company executive, said there are 6 million to 10 million such offers in circulation already, out of the 21 million the company has planned. Those all expire around May 15, he said. The company said Tuesday it expects to report a loss of $1 per share or more for the January-to-March quarter. That would mark its first loss since going public in 2006."

Is it $afe?

Chipotle closes in Billerica because of norovirus

Chipotle continues to struggle

I can only imagine why:

"A major scientific advisory board has declared that genetically manipulated food remains generally safe for humans and the environment. The National Academies of Science, Engineering, and Medicine concludes that tinkering with the genetic instructions of what we eat doesn’t produce the “Frankenfood” monster some opponents claim. Nor is it feeding the world with substantially increased yields, as proponents promised. The report says with the line between engineered and natural foods blurring, thanks to newer techniques such as gene editing, regulators need to make their safety focus more on the end-product of the food that’s made rather than the nuts and bolts of how it’s made. The report’s authors said labels aren’t needed for food safety reasons but could be justified for other reasons, much like made-in-America stickers."

This from the same group of people who told the water is safe to drink and paint chips are safe to eat, ha-ha!

GENERALLY SAFE, huh, and don't worry at all how it arrived on your plate. 

Good thing I'm only GENERALLY WORRIED about my HEALTH and WELL-BEING!

And for dessert?

"Nestle SA is eliminating artificial flavors and colors from some US ice-cream products as the world’s biggest food company steps up efforts to remove additives from its portfolio. The maker of Dreyer’s ice cream will alter more than 100 products via changes that include ditching high fructose corn syrup and genetically-modified ingredients from some of them, the Swiss company said in a statement Wednesday."

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream! 

So how long until Nestle is Chipotled?

Before you know it, it will be morning:

"General Mills Inc., looking to reinvigorate its flagship Cheerios brand after years of sluggish sales, is taking inspiration from Starbucks Corp. The company is introducing a pumpkin spice version of the cereal later this year."

"Kellogg’s profit declined in the first quarter as the maker of Frosted Flakes and Pop Tarts continued to fight sluggish cereal sales. The Battle Creek, Mich., company said sales slipped 1.2 percent for its flagship US Morning Foods segment, which includes cereals such as Froot Loops, Mini Wheats, and Raisin Bran. The dip reflects the ongoing struggles for Kellogg and rival General Mills Inc. as Americans increasingly reach for alternatives at breakfast. Still, Kellogg CEO John Bryant expressed confidence that the company would end the year with positive cereal sales. That would mark the first time Kellogg’s US cereal sales were positive since 2012, he said."

I just skip it; otherwise, I wouldn't be able to afford a Globe.

"GNC Holdings, the vitamins and health-supplement chain with 9,000 stores, may be looking to sell itself. GNC said that it had hired Goldman Sachs and the law firm Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz to advise on “strategic and financial alternatives,” according to a statement Monday."

At least someone is healthy and well.

Wishing it to you, readers.

UPDATE:

"Red Lobster says it’s feeling the ‘‘Beyonce Bounce.’’ The seafood chain known for its cheddar biscuits says sales surged 33 percent on Sunday, compared with last year’s Super Bowl Sunday. The increase came after the release of ‘‘Formation,’’ in which Beyonce says she took a man to Red Lobster after sex. Red Lobster says it’s sure the mention is responsible for at least part of its sales jump. The pop culture spotlight is no doubt a welcome change for Red Lobster, which was sold by Darden Restaurants in July of 2014 after it suffered ongoing declines in sales."