Thursday, January 28, 2010

Unexpected Profits

Seems like the only ones who didn't do well wuz YOU, 'murkns!

"Google Inc. revved up its fourth-quarter Internet advertising sales and approached $2 billion in quarterly profit for the first time, providing the strongest sign yet that Internet search leader has shaken off the recession’s doldrums....

American Express said yesterday that its profit jumped in the final three months of the year. The credit card company earned $716 million in the quarter. The gain broke a streak of eight consecutive quarters of falling profits for AmEx, which traditionally caters to a more affluent clientele.

Related: Here Comes Santa Claus' Sleigh

That's not you, readers.

Capital One earned $375.6 million in the fourth quarter as income from fees and interest rose while loan-loss provisions fell. Revenue rose 6.2 percent to $3.37 billion from $3.17 billion.

Cool commercials though, 'eh, 'murkn?

What's in your wallet? Not that amount of cash.

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Apple scores record quarter

Apple said yesterday it earned $3.4 billion in the latest quarter,

Related: Cosmetics maker soars on higher outlook

Note the firm and religion of such, readers.

Also see: Covidien’s quarterly profit up 7 percent

MILFORD - Analytical instrument maker Waters Corp. said yesterday its fiscal fourth-quarter profit rose 5 percent as a weaker US dollar drove the value of international sales.

Profit rose to $104.1 million.... The company said foreign currency differences increased sales by about 4 percent. Without the difference, sales would have fallen 1 percent. For the full year, Waters earned $323.3 million....

Translation: SALES DIDN'T INCREASE!!!

Only TRICKS with MONEY made it LOOK THAT WAY!

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NEEDHAM - Parametric Technology Corp., a product design company, reported its fiscal first-quarter profit more than tripled as sales rose and costs remained steady. The company also raised its 2010 profit outlook, and the stock climbed in after-hours trading. In the quarter ended Jan. 2, the company earned $17.9 million....

That's what all the funny accounting is for, isn't it?

To JIGGER the STOCK PRICE!

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Of course, there are some things of which you can't cover the stink.

ATLANTA - Borders Group Inc., the unprofitable US bookstore chain, said Ron Marshall resigned as chief executive and director after about a year on the job.

Books? Who reads books or newspapers anymore?

Marshall will be named chief executive of Great Atlantic & Pacific Tea Co., a grocer, The Wall Street Journal reported without saying where it got the information....

As if the MSM and its confidential sources of anonymity have a leg to stand on there.

So from books to bagging, 'eh?

Borders, which last reported an annual profit in 2006, has seen revenue drop for the past three years as consumers spent less on books and nonessential items amid declining home values and rising unemployment....

Besides, WHO READS BOOKS anymore?

How QUAINT!

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